"At least you tried."

“Before you QUIT… TRY.” – Dalle S.

Since the first semester I’ve been dreaming to go for an exchange under AIESEC. I have to admit that this is one of the reasons why I joined the organization, basically to experience the program they are offering which I see would benefit me as a whole.

 Right now, they are advertising the GCDP and GIP with the slogan, “I want to GET LOST and Find Myself!” This really triggered once more my desire to go for an exchange this summer but the problem is I need to take my OJT within those months that the program covers.

I told my mom about it but then she discouraged me since we’re not sure if it would greatly affect my school curriculum. So, I asked the faculty secretary of our faculty, I was hoping that he could enlighten me but then I got an answer that I need to ask our department head instead. Plus, he didn't directly discourage me but then it boiled down to that point. There was even another professor listening to our conversation and said, “Mag-aral ka na lang muna iha.” I shyly smiled to them and when asked why and where I want to go for the exchange program, I said, “I want self-fulfilment. And if ever, I want to go to a Spanish speaking country so that I could apply what I learned in my Spanish class this year, they are actually offering Colombia,” they laughed after hearing my explanation.

After, I had to ask the opinion of my Spanish professor since I’m planning to apply what I learned to his subject. He listened to what I have to say but then it’s the same, he indirectly discouraged me and just recommended a friend in law school (who I personally know as well) who can help me instead if I want to do volunteer work. Then he suggested that I should think more about this issue and consider my parents but what made me smile about our conversation was the fact that he offered me an intensive Spanish class with him if ever I continue with my plan! And here goes my segurista attitude; I asked if I need to pay him if ever, he just smiled and say “No, No” (with his Spanish accent. Haha). I just hope that I didn't offend him though. 

Lastly, I seek for my college friends’ opinion. One friend said that I should think first about graduating on time rather than going for the exchange since it matters if a "person graduates on time" (yes, it matters most especially to my dad!). Another said that as long as my parents are okay with it, then it would be fine. Then the third one just listened to what I need to say but at the same shared an internship opportunity she had to turn down as well.

At the end of this day, everyone is against me. YES, no one wants me to go to this internship because I need to prioritize my studies first. And i understand their opinions. But still, I would stand firm in trying. I would ask the department head on Monday, if there is a chance that I could go to Colombia (Yes, this is where I want to go now! Haha) and when I return get a GOOD OJT.

 I want to push myself harder, I don’t want to feel that I slip on a chance of catching a dream that I’ve wanted since the first semester of this school year. I want to see myself getting lost in a place that I don’t know but at the end find myself in the same place with much bliss and fulfillment.

People might not understand why I’m pushing this dream which in fact could be achieved after I graduate but then deep within me I know that if there’s a chance, I would surely grab it and want to make the most out of it! I know that I would get self-fulfillment that I could not get if I just stay in my comfort zone and if I do it after graduation day. GCDP and GIP for me offers a different experience and perspective in life. For now GCDP is what I want! This is what my heart desires to do.

Whatever happens on Monday, I would not have any regrets about it and would wholeheartedly accept what God wants for me. If its is a YES, well then it's a YES YES YES! But if ever it is a NO, at least, at the end of that day, i could tap my shoulders and would proudly say, "At least, you tried." :)

Fickle minded

Yesterday, I was telling my friend that I think I really like you and perhaps I even love you already. Suddenly, while listening to the priest homily a while ago, there was a certain hint within me that I don’t like nor love you. Maybe I’m just infatuated because you’re the perfect example of my ideal guy. So perhaps I  need more time to think and understand how I feel. After all I admit that I am fickle minded… this only proves that I’m a true woman. 

Discomfort vs. Learning : My first AIESEC Experience

It has been awhile since I posted my last blog. Oh well, here it goes…

Yesterday I went home from Antipolo , I attended the NLDC of AIESEC Phes. Before the whole conference, I was so excited due to the constant feedback coming from our EB but then on the first night I was actually disappointed due to the amenities (if I could only rate it with a -5 during our evaluation sessions, I would really do it!). The rooms were really small (we can’t move properly! They tried to fit four people in a room that could only accommodate 2 persons), the food sucks, and the water was dirty and would always run out. In addition to the situation, I’m claustrophobic and I had this wound in my right knee. So just imagine how uncomfortable it was for me to stay in such condition. I was thinking of going home on the second day but then I decided to give it a shot (I paid 3K+).

I must say, it was a right decision to give it another try. The whole conference was not perfect but then I learned a lot. I realized that leaders should be leaders no matter how awful the situation could be. Most of the time, it is about the learning and experience that you get that matters. I enjoyed every moment I was interacting with other people from other LCs plus the factor that my LC won the fluffy bear was an awesome add on.  I feel good that I didn’t give up even if I was actually experiencing so many discomforts already. This is my first conference for AIESEC and definitely this would not be the last.

My AIESEC experience would not end here. I will continue to grab the opportunity to add more enthusiasm to what AIESEC could offer to me.  

Physical Injury

Aww. When i saw this picture, I remembered you again. Is this how you feel every time I ignore you before? If yes, I'm sorry and I will try my best that it will never happen again... let me heal the brain effect that I caused.

Sorting out

I just finished fixing my room tonight. I must say, I have written so many papers for this semester and proudly I must congratulate myself for doing excellent for most of it. On the other hand, for the quizzes that I took, I really nailed most of it except for one quiz in Literature. That quiz was really frustrating since it was a surprised quiz and lucky me, I didn’t listen during the whole 3 hours discussion of the professor, thus, getting the price of an F. I know this blog post is really bizarre, I just wanted to pour out my thoughts and feelings upon seeing all the papers I have sorted tonight because looking back to all of brain wrecking requirements I have done this semester, I realized that there are a lot of potentials I could give and receive in my course. Maybe it’s time for me to focus and to fully love CA rather than rooting in shifting. Maybe at this point it is quite late already for me to take an action in shifting to Psychology; this is the right time to know that I could still pursue that course after finishing CA and that it will never be too late if the right time comes. In the first place, I love what we do in this course and this is what I wanted to take when I entered the university! No matter how tiring it is to produce shows, to do an advertising plan or to write several scripts, I must admit that I like what we did; I love what we did to all those course requirements!

Also, I grasped that I should stop over thinking everything and just go with the flow. Carpe Diem as they say. I just need to enjoy everything that we do and stop putting so much pressure in my shoulders because at the end of the day, I know that I give my best to everything I do. Every effort counts and it prevails, so I should stop bothering for too much perfection (but I must say perfection is nice… but not too much).

In conclusion, I must say that this semester has been really good (even if I didn't see my grades yet but I’m hoping for a good result). I was able to know who my real friends are, those whom I could trust and rely on for work, I discovered some of my potentials and most importantly, it gave me a clearer view of why I took up CA.

 The last three semesters would not be easy, it will never be, but knowing now why I wanted this course, I know it will give me the strength to go on and push myself beyond my limits rather than just staying in my comfort zones. This is where I started my journey and definitely I won’t give up until I finish it. 

Cheers to my paper outputs this semester, surely, you've made me smile tonight. :)

SEM BREAK!

SEM BREAK! SEM BREAK! SEM BREAK!

They say it is SEM BREAK already but i won't declare it unless I see my grades. HAHA  forever grade conscious. But actually i'm enjoying this bum life for a while since the week after I would be quite busy for organization activities. I don't know though if I could stand this situation since I won't be coming home and obviously I am stuck here in the apartment doing nothing but watching a few series, browsing facebook, tweeting, sleeping and eating; that is quite a productive routine huh? If I suddenly go crazy, i would go home to Tuguegarao without informing my parents. I will surprise them or should I say I will surprise my dad since my mom is not around . 

For now, I shall continue my crazy routine. I don't know how long will I stand but hoping that I will survive this week. I know I will! :)

P.S. Sorry for a crappy blog post. I just want to write something since I won't be talking to people for a week unless I buy something to eat. So obviously, I would be talking just because I'm buying food! haha

One Poem. Three Versions

Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

 Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Kay iksi ng pag-ibig, pero bakit sadyang kay haba ng paglimot.

My Literature professor when i was in first year posted his Filipino translation of Pablo Neruda's Poema 20 on Facebook and suddenly nostalgia attacks. Actually, it was our lesson back then. I remember him showing the English translation and i really loved it! I actually like the context of the whole poem. It's really heartwarming, most especially for a girl like me who likes being emotional sometimes. Knowing that this poem was translated from Spanish (i learned a little bit of Spanish this semester) I tried to compare the three versions. 

Spanish Version: 

- I was actually delighted to know that I understood the poem since most of the words that the writer used were familiar to me. The words were actually taught in class, thus, helping me in appreciating the original version of the poem. I need to give an A+ to my professor in Spanish!

Filipino Version:

-One of my friends like this version, since according to her it has more emotions, plus you could feel more pain because of the language. Well, I agree with her. The words that my professor used were really heartbreaking compared to the English version but then it didn't give me the AHA feeling.

English Version:

- Among the three, this one is my favorite version! I could really feel how much the writer loved his lover and how painful it was when their relationship ended, thus, giving me a full idea on why the the poet wrote the poem. The right words were chosen by whoever translated it.

Anyway, Idk why i compared the three versions. When in fact, i should be reviewing for my Literature exams on Friday. Maybe I was amazed to understand a poem based from three versions of different languages. Plus, this poem was really one of my favorite!

And trust me, whatever version you would read... 


Puedo escribir los versos mas tristes esta noche... or

Tonight I can write the saddest lines... or

Maisusulat ko ngayong gabi...

You just need to think deeper and to read between the lines to fully appreciate the poem. :)